Another DREADFUL ad

Hi,

Readers may recall that I wanted to bring attention to some of the abominable advertising that occasionally pops up like a boil on the derrieres of our common attention. One such festered during March Madness--for Holiday Inn, in which people taking advantage of HI's "sumptuous" breakfast bar seem to liken the experience to people in recovery (one woman refers to a guy heaping scrambled eggs on his plate as the "designated driver" who, chagrined as he puts the egss back in the pan, then says he doesn't "need breakfast to have fun.") Not to be outdone, another person later torments the driver in the car with a muffin of some sort.

Unless I misinterpret, this seems to liken breakfast to a form of addiction that one must wrestle with every day. Talk about funny! I mean, fall down hilarious!! What better butt of humor than folks fighting an ongoing poison?

Anyone else have their eyes stung with this scheiss?

Jeff

The "art" of alienating customers

I write a great deal about how the little things that a business does--seemingly innocuous stuff that may fly under the radar--really can make a or break a reputation. Well, write about it often enough and you're bound to live it at some point.

My family recently bought a car through a car buying service. The service arranged everything--financing, a dealership with the best price, etc.--even was supposed to arrange delivery to our door.

We agree to a particular car to a dealership eight miles from our home (remember that distance, kids). The day before we were due to take delivery, the broker called us and told us the dealership was refusing to deliver the car because that, since they were already selling the car for such a low price it wasn't worth their time to actually deliver it.

Note to people much smarter than me (which includes much of the human race): what's the connection between the price and a delivery time that would top out at 20 minutes?

We agree to pick up the car. Two hours before on the day of pickup my wife, learned female that she is, decides to call to make sure everything is as it should be. Well, come to find out the dealership--because we were not financing it through them--wanted us to leave a check for the entire purchase amount until our loan cleared. It mattered nary a thing that our loan was OKd and ready to go--a check was needed or deal was dead.

Second note to readers: you got $20k plus laying around in an account doing nothing in particular? Not I...

OK, go to the dealership, give them a check and get the car. The poor salesman who was forced to deal with us--I think the manager who foisted all this nonsense on us was cowering in the back bingeing on Little Debbie's until we left--did a yeoman's job of trying to be courteous. Still, I refused to shake his hand or to play along in any capacity that this was some joyous, wrinkle free transaction.

An asshole thing to do? Probably-but I felt like an asshole. Moreover, a visit to the dealership revealed an entire sales staff standing around doing little more than help themselves to bottled water and free dum dums. So much for the argument that personnel could not be spared to deliver the car (remember, kiddos, a scant eight mile trip.

Studies have been done that show that the disparity of good buying experiences vs. bad buying experiences is rather great--that buyers will tell many more people about the bad than they will the good. And that's what I intend to do--all over minuscule details and inattention that could happily and easily been avoided.

Still, a good lesson for all...


Jeff

recession--or no?

I'm currently working on a story on how to best prepare for a recession (as you can ask 100 people and get 100 different answers, the story doesn't touch on whether we're in a recession or not but rather operates on the supposition that we are or, at the very least, are headed that way.)

What to do? Some ideas to weigh:

* Trim debt as much as possible--possibilities of layoffs or hiring slowdowns is no time to carry the excess baggage of credit card debt and the like. If you have extra, pay off the plastic.

* If you don't have to, don't sell your house. The fact that home prices are plummeting isn't news--if your home is down 10 to 20 percent or even more in value, sit tight and wait for prices to rebound.

* Pursue additional skills and training. The first to be laid off are often those deemed the most expendable. Boost your security by broadening your value to your employer.

Jeff

Business License--don't ask, don't tell

I recently finished a column on the rather mercurial topic of business licenses--who needs one, who doesn't and how to determine where you may fall in that continuum. Although the article was fairly empirical, one element that really didn't fit poses a potential danger to businesses of all sorts.

Simply put: need a business license? It all depends who sees you.

What that means is that, in effect, many businesses--particularly ones located within a home--do, in fact, need some sort of licensure, be it at the state or local level. How that bears out in practice is whether someone is going to take the time to report you to the licensing authorities.

How can that play out? Noisy traffic coming and going from your home, traffic and parking headaches and other logistical issues are often the catalyst for complaints. Sometimes noise and, all too frequently, a neighbor with nothing better to do can prompt a phone call to the state or municipality.

And, the fact is, no matter how legitimate your business is, running it without the necessary licensure and getting caught can be pricey and painful--you can get shut down, fined and, in extreme cases, even face criminal charges.

Bottom line: protect yourself. Visit your state's website--usually tucked into the secretary of state's section--to see if what you do for a living mandates some sort of license. Visit your town or city hall to find out if anything local applies.

You can always choose to toss the dice, save some money, and hope nobody spills the beans on you. To wit: about a mile from my home there's a guy who has stacks of junk and rusted out cars spread throughout his property. He's running a junk yard but hasn't a scrap of a license to validate its legality.

He's been doing this for a couple years now--and only because no one has had a hankering to pick up the phone.

How safe a strategy is that? Decide for yourself.

Jeff

Money (and lives) down the toilet

Speaking of money wasted...off the wire...


WASHINGTON - A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period. It found that in speeches, briefings, interviews and other venues, Bush and administration officials stated unequivocally on at least 532 occasions that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction or was trying to produce or obtain them or had links to al-Qaida or both.

"It is now beyond dispute that Iraq did not possess any weapons of mass destruction or have meaningful ties to al-Qaida," according to Charles Lewis and Mark Reading-Smith of the Fund for Independence in Journalism staff members, writing an overview of the study. "In short, the Bush administration led the nation to war on the basis of erroneous information that it methodically propagated and that culminated in military action against Iraq on March 19, 2003."

Named in the study along with Bush were top officials of the administration during the period studied: Vice President Dick Cheney, national security adviser Condoleezza Rice, Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, Secretary of State Colin Powell, Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz and White House press secretaries Ari Fleischer and Scott McClellan.

Bush led with 259 false statements, 231 about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and 28 about Iraq's links to al-Qaida, the study found. That was second only to Powell's 244 false statements about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and 10 about Iraq and al-Qaida.

The center said the study was based on a database created with public statements over the two years beginning on Sept. 11, 2001, and information from more than 25 government reports, books, articles, speeches and interviews.

"The cumulative effect of these false statements — amplified by thousands of news stories and broadcasts — was massive, with the media coverage creating an almost impenetrable din for several critical months in the run-up to war," the study concluded.

"Some journalists — indeed, even some entire news organizations — have since acknowledged that their coverage during those prewar months was far too deferential and uncritical. These mea culpas notwithstanding, much of the wall-to-wall media coverage provided additional, 'independent' validation of the Bush administration's false statements about Iraq," it said.

Jeff

Golf and Business

Got a note recently from someone about a series I wrote a while back about business and golf. If you're interested, here's one of the central pieces:

Several years ago, Mike Kanazawa played a round of golf with three other San Francisco-area businesspeople.
Two years later, Kanazawa's consulting firm, Dissero Partners, landed significant projects with two of his playing partners.
"We were never out saying we could do this and that for you," says Kanazawa, chief executive of the 20-person firm with $2 million in annual revenue. "We talked about it some, but, then, we also talked about our families. I wasn't out there pumping for business."
Kanazawa's experience illustrates the subtle dance that exists between business and golf. True, business happens during the course of 18 holes—often, significant business—but usually in an understated, carefully managed fashion. And that makes it important to have a working list of business golf dos and donts.
One of the most important elements to recognize is the opportunity golf affords—if nothing else, in the amount of time you can interact with a colleague, prospect or existing client.
"With golf, you can spend up to five or six hours with someone," says Jay Monahan of Fenway Sports Group, a 17-person, $250 million sports promotion and consulting concern which is a subsidiary of New England Sports Ventures. "Can you imagine if I called someone up and asked to meet with them for five hours? With golf, that's what you're asking."
But that amount of time shouldn't automatically morph into a predatory quest to close the deal by the time the final ball has plopped into the 18th hole. Usually, anything but. For the most part, golf and business intertwine to build relationships—a variety of telling signs that suggest who may be a suitable business partner and who may be something less.
If you're the one doing the inviting, that starts with preparation—mapping out just how you can make the day a pleasant one for your playing partners.
"Make sure they have the right directions to the course and that you've invited them to a course that's appropriate to their level of play," says Hilary Bruggen Fordwich, who teaches workshops on how to combine business and golf. "It's a test of your likability. No one chooses to do business with someone they don't like."
But it can also prove a test of sorts for the other players. Experienced business golfers say they watch their playing partners to see how they handle themselves on the course. From simple acts like picking up other players' clubs and helping to look for wayward balls to reaction to poor shots, on-course behavior can prove an expansive window into professional character.
"If someone throws a club because they made a double bogey, what does that say how they might react when they face real adversity?" says Monahan.
Savvy players also match their conversation to the setting and any clues the other players may drop. If, for instance, you’ve been in substantial negotiations for several months, wait for the other player to raise the topic: "If it's important, it will manifest itself somewhere," says Monahan. That may happen on the course itself or over drinks afterward, but don't rush things. Watch for overtures that suggest your partner is ready to discuss details. By contrast, if the game is one of your first meetings, best to stick to getting to know each other.
Other tips and strategies:
*Downplay competition. "Don't go out there to beat someone," says Fordwich. "Emphasize enjoyment of the day."
* Dress appropriately. As Fordwich notes, black clothes on a 90-degree day can only lead to sweaty disaster.
*Unless you know someone's game, avoid praise. What seems like a solid 200-yeard drive may be disappointing to someone used to 75 yards more.
* Don't cheat, however innocently. Moving a ball on your own accord may seem innocuous to you—it may offend your playing partners. "You can never bee too honest," says Fordwich.

Finally, don't limit golf outings to playing with prospects or
colleagues. Dan Stewart, owner of Geo-Logical, a $5 million Port Richey, Fl. sinkhole repair company, routinely takes job applicants out for a round. The dynamics are the same—an enjoyable time that can also prove enlightening.
"Years ago for a marketing position, I invited a candidate back for a second round of golf," says Stewart. "He thought he had the job so he drank a little too much and really let his hair down. We made the decision not to bring him on board."


Jeff

Tip: Landing A Small Business Loan

If you've tried to get a loan to start a small business, you know the process can be akin to root canal on the pleasure scale--particularly if you've made the rounds of banks, business plan in hand, only to be told that you somehow or another don't qualify. Relax--it's not necessarily your fault, particularly if you're only requesting a modest amount. The reason often is large banks don't want to devote time and resources to considering and administering what they consider picayune small business loans. Boost your chances by focusing on smaller, more localized and regional banks. Since their scale is smaller, they're likely to pay more attention to start up funding requests.

Jeff